I Matched With My Fiancé's Dad On A Dating App

I deleted the app that same night. That part I'm sure about. Everything else — I'm still not sure.

So you know how families rush to get engagements done before Raya? The pressure starts early. My mum had been dropping hints since last year. Haziq and I had been together almost two years, so when his family suggested we do the engagement in February — get it done before puasa starts, before everyone gets busy — I said okay.

The bertunang ceremony was at Haziq's parents' house in Seremban. Proper full setup — sirih junjung, both families sitting across from each other, the whole thing. His dad, Encik Roslan, sat at the head of the table. Quiet man, maybe late forties. Didn't talk much. His mum did most of the talking.

Now here is the part where I need you to understand that what I did next was normal behaviour for a 25-year-old who had been single until recently.

About a month before the engagement, I was still on the apps. Not actively looking — just hadn't deleted them yet. I matched with someone. His name on the app was Lan. Profile was a bit blurry, like one of those uncles who use a photo from a family trip where they're half in shadow. We chatted a bit. Movies, food, the usual. He asked where to get good laksa in KL. I recommended a place in Chow Kit. Normal stuff.

He stopped replying. I stopped replying. I forgot about it.

Then at the engagement, Haziq's mum was showing me photos on her phone and she passes it to Encik Roslan. He's swiping through, and I glance over, and I see his lockscreen wallpaper.

Same photo. The blurry family trip one.

I think my face did something terrible because Haziq squeezed my hand and whispered "you okay?" and I said "eh, apa nama bunga tu?" and pointed at a random plant in the corner. Haziq's mum gave me a whole lecture about the bunga. I heard nothing.

I went home and opened the app. Went to my match history. There he was — Lan. I clicked his profile. He'd updated it. Clearer photo now.

It was definitely Encik Roslan.

I deleted the app. I sat on my bathroom floor for a while.

Here's what makes this complicated: he hadn't recognised me either. My photos were selfies, sometimes with tudung, sometimes without. We had never video-called. As far as I can tell, he has no idea. He was completely normal to me at the ceremony. He's been normal every time since.

Do I tell Haziq? About what, exactly? That his dad and I matched on a dating app, chatted about laksa, then forgot each other existed? Nothing happened. But the conversation would also mean explaining that I was on the app in the first place while Haziq and I were already talking — which is technically fine but feels complicated to explain.

Do I just carry this to my grave?

We're getting married in June. After Raya. The wedding prep is already starting.

I deleted the app. I never found the laksa place I recommended. I hope Encik Roslan did.